PAGE 2 of my ever-enlightening Ask Parman! Section...


By the way, one of my friends helped me create most of these intelligent questions more than 10 years ago, so don't think that my mind is COMPLETELY in the gutter.

  1. To start things off, who do you think should've won the 2000 presidential election?

    Why... Pat Buchanan, OF COURSE. And for vice president? Ralph "I'm obsessed with combing my hair...NOT" Nader...

    I'm pretty sure an anti-Semite and an uncouthed slob in the White House would have had the same impact as that by George W. Bush, who according to the 11/20/00 issue of Time magazine once considered Nigeria to be one of the world's most important "continents."

    BTW, I was just joking about picking Buchanan to win. DO I LOOK INSANE??

    (NOTE: This question was posted WAAAY long time ago... You would think that I would update this with Obama and Romney references, but nahhh.)

    (NOTE #2: DON'T EVEN get me started on that orange-skinned COVIDIOT In Chief named Donald J. Trump...)

  2. Uhhh, no comment. What do you think about the electoral college?

    I heard it's a great party school. With lots of trashy sorority girls.

  3. Who do you think is better... Backstreet Boys, 'N Sync or 98 Degrees?

    Hmm...that's a tough one. I'd have to go with Britney Spears (before her K-Fed days), Christina Milian, Mandy Moore, Christina Aguilera, Jessica Simpson, Ashanti, Faith Hill and Leann Rimes.

    (NOTE: This question was posted WAAAY long time ago... Maybe I should include questions regarding Adele and Daft Punk now, haha. Or maybe BTS and Billie Eilish.)

  4. YOU IDIOT!! I asked you who was better between Backstreet Boys, 'N Sync and 98 Degrees...not those ladies!!!

    What, no "none of the above"?

    (NOTE: This question was posted WAAAY long time ago...)

  5. Concerning the NBA... Do you think the Seattle Supersonics' Patrick Ewing would've really given up a kidney to the Miami Heat's Alonzo Mourning?

    Yea, if Ewing could receive the ability to run and make shots from 2 feet away in return.

    (NOTE: This question was posted WAAAY long time ago...)

  6. Who do you think is a better shooter, the Indiana Pacers' Reggie Miller or New York Knicks' Glen Rice?

    Hmm... I would have to put Miller at a close second, Rice at an even closer third, and me at first.

    (NOTE: This question was posted WAAAY long time ago...but me being at first is still relevant, haha.)

  7. Who's better: Cleveland Cavalier LeBron James or Orlando Magic Dwight Howard? They play different positions, I know...

    How do you pronounce K-O-B-E?

    81 POINTS, BABY!!! And the 2008 regular season MVP award!!! And the 2009 NBA Finals MVP award!!! And the 2010 NBA Finals MVP award too!!!

    And five championship rings... The Black Mamba rules.

    (NOTE: This question was posted before LeBron took the easy route to an NBA championship by joining Dwyane Wade and the Miami Heat in 2010. And Dwight Howard jumped ship from Orlando to join the Lakers in 2012...only to jump ship again to head to the Houston Rockets in 2013.)

    The Los Angeles Lakers take a group photo after winning their 17th franchise title in the 2020 NBA Finals

    (NOTE #2: Let me just say that I will gladly eat my words from the previous note since LeBron James and Dwight Howard brought the Lakers its 17th franchise title after beating the Miami Heat, 4-2, in the 2020 NBA Finals!)

    (NOTE #3: Rest In Peace, Kobe.)

  8. Yo, I know this guy and he's cool and all...but there's this one thing that I really hate about him. He can't drive for SMACK! What do I do?

    Tell him to go find a girlfriend who will drive him around everywhere.

    (YES, this is an inside joke.)

  9. So what's your ideal dessert?

    Why, Poontang Pie a la mode of course.

  10. Do you watch that show Jackass on MTV?

    Yeah, shouldn't you be on the next episode?

    (NOTE: This question was posted WAAAY long time ago...)

  11. HA-HA-HA. So what's your favorite holiday?

    Okay, is that suppose to be a serious question?

    MY BIRTHDAY, waddya think?!

  12. I'm hungry right now, where should I eat?

    At Hooters Restaurant. "Hooters, hooters, yum, yum, yum... Hooters, hooters, on a girl that's dumb."

    I got that from Al Bundy in Married...with Children. That was a great degrading to different people as it was.

    Al Bundy rules

  13. Who do you think will win in a fight, Mickey Mouse or Snoopy?

    Oh geez, I guess you're running out of interesting questions. Not that the ones above were any good, either.

  14. Who's faster, Speedy Gonzalez or the Road Runner?

    YOU...after I get a crowbar to chase your ass down with for wasting precious bandwidth on my website!

  15. Have you seen that DragonballZ episode where they were fighting? That was hella tight!!!

    I know! It's not very often that you see characters duking it out on that show.

    By the way, I was being sarcastic.

  16. So was I, numbnut. What do you recommend; a Sega Dreamcast or a Sony Playstation 2? Or how 'bout an Xbox One?

    I don't know... I don't have enough funds to buy any of those. And you can forget about me buyin' a Playstation 5 when it comes out this November (of 2020). 400 bucks... GOOD GOD!

    (NOTE: Except for the Xbox One and PS5 references, this question was posted WAAAY long time ago... I had a good ol' PS2 that I ended up selling to my local Gamestop store for 13 bucks back in 2009...)

  17. I'm looking for delicious seafood, where should I go?

    Red Lobster is way TOO cheap. I strongly recommend Long John Silver's.

  18. What was the last import car show you've been to?

    Um, I went to one yesterday... at the UCI parking lot.

    UCI... The University of Customized Integras. NOW do you get the joke?

  19. What's your favorite movie of all time?

    Three words: Debbie. Does. Dallas. It revolutionized the film industry... Of course, I'm not gonna tell you which film industry.

  20. What's the best part of cooking food?

    "Tossing salad." And adding some creamy Ranch Dressing afterwards.


And that concludes the SECOND LIST of questions that the great Parman answered for your benefit. Hope you feel even more enlightened than ever before. Until I find additional things to insult or new innuendos to conjure up...SEE YOU LATER!!!

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